Find Yourself, Or Die Trying
by kittykat2892
Summary: Naruto has grown tired of the treatment he receives by his village. With the help of a stranger, he leaves and is thrown into a world of betrayal, pain, and suffering. As his life continues, he learns people change - for better, or for worse.


Title: Find Yourself Or Die Trying

Authoress: kittykat2892

Pairings: None as of yet

Full Summary: Naruto has grown tired of the treatment he receives by his village. With the help of a stranger, he leaves and is thrown into a world of betrayal, pain, and suffering. As his life continues, he learns people change - for better, or for worse.

Warnings: Angsty thoughts/actions, violence, cursing, betrayal, character death.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Naruto (c) Masashi Kishimoto. I only own my OCs and my ideas.

A/N: To those of you who are skittish of there being OCs in this story, know that they are there for story progression. They are not Mary Sues or Gary Stus. They will have flaws, and they will have weaknesses alongside their strengths. These may not be shown for some time, but be aware they are there.

This is also sort of an AU story. It still takes place in the ninja universe, but the actions and situations of Shippuden are completely thrown out the window. There will be no reverting to Shippuden, though there may be some plot bunnies I use from Shippuden (which will be gleaned from the Naruto wikia).

I also had a reviewer in the past few years tell me this would be a good story if it wasn't SasuNaru oriented. I want to let everyone know this is NOT a yaoi fanfiction (surprising as that may seem with my track record). I want this story to appeal to everyone, so if there are any pairings, they will be heterosexual, since I know not everyone is okay with homosexual relationships. I'd rather be commended on the plotline than have the story degraded due to a single pairing not everyone agrees with.

This story is also being revised as of 04/17/2012. All chapters following the revised chapter(s) have been deleted and will be re-posted when they're revised accordingly. To those of you who come back to this story, welcome back! Hopefully I won't lose interest again. To those of you just joining, I promise this will be a fun ride.

Enjoy!

_**Chapter One**_

_**How I Really Feel?**_

'The first sunny day that Konoha has in what seemed to be years, and here I am stuck with these two waiting on the idiot jounin sent to watch over mine and Sasuke's training... Sakura shouldn't even _be _here...'

Uzumaki Naruto - resident village clown and prankster, future Hokage, jinchuuriki - was sullen on this wonderful day, as he described it. It was a complete 180 for the usually hyper-active ninja, and if his comrades even bothered to care, they would have been worried.

A few months ago, a little after Naruto's seventeenth birthday, he had finally fulfilled his promise to his long-time childhood crush, Sakura, and brought the person of her affections back to their home village. Uchiha Sasuke had put up one hell of a fight, the end result being both he and Naruto were close to death simply from the amount of superficial wounds and fatigue from going all-out for an indeterminate amount of time.

Somehow he'd been able to drag both himself and Sasuke back to the gates before his weariness got the better of him and he collapsed. When he awoke, he was in the infirmary staring up at a bright white ceiling and Tsunade leaning over him urgently.

Naruto was told they had been in the hospital for at least three weeks unconscious as the medic-nin worked on saving their lives from blood loss and a few life-threatening injuries he had not been aware of. He was released a few weeks later, shortly followed by Sasuke's release.

It had been a slap to the face when Kakashi showed up at his apartment a few days ago and told him that he and Sasuke were to be under his training regimen until further notice. What was Tsunade playing at, forcing him to be in his vicinity? Friendship could only weather tough times for so long before the bonds that were connecting two people were severed. Sasuke trying to kill him at least twice was more than enough to make Naruto question his strong kinship with the last Uchiha.

Once Sakura had caught wind that her object of affection would be out in Konoha for once, she fluttered to him as a butterfly to sugar. Naruto knew Kakashi wouldn't send the Chuunin away. He'd probably use her in their training.

It was obvious Sasuke wasn't interested in whatever Sakura was rambling about. He was leaning against a nearby tree, arms crossed. He had new clothes, due to his original outfit being completely destroyed in their fight. They were reminiscent of the clothes he'd worn as a Genin five years ago. The neck of his shirt was normal, however, and he wore khaki capris instead of shorts.

Sasuke caught Naruto watching him. He glared in return, eyes as cold as a dark, winter night. He was far from thankful that Naruto had brought him back. At times, it seemed he was even in pain, though Naruto assumed this was due to the Curse Mark left him by Orochimaru. The Snake Sannin had bitten off more than he could chew when he Marked Sasuke, expecting easy prey to devour. Sasuke had sent Orochimaru underground with the jutsus Orochimaru had taught the Uchiha heir. Naruto found it ironic.

Sakura turned, noticing Sasuke's attention was not on her. Upon seeing Naruto held his attention, she glared and stuck her tongue out at the blonde. Naruto simply turned away, looking towards the memorial stone with the names of the dead engraved upon it. His eyes turned sorrowful.

"Hey, idiot."

Naruto flinched minutely, but did not turn around. He would not acknowledge the smug bastard as long as he spoke to him in that way and tone. A few seconds passed before a rough hand on his shoulder jerked him around. He found his body grow tense at the possibility of an attack, his hands rising from his sides as he turned a glare Sasuke's way.

The older teen smirked in response to the look sent his way, slipping halfway into his own fighting stance. "You think you can handle a fight with me so soon?" He questioned in a dangerous tone. Naruto simply scowled.

"I'll take you any time, traitor."

The smirk was ripped from Sasuke's lips as quickly as it had appeared. "You really do have a death wish, don't you?"

"Naruto, enough!" Sakura hissed, coming between the two tense men.

"You realize you turn your back to a traitor who left you in cold blood for the promise of power?" Naruto growled, blue eyes flashing. Sakura paled, whether it was anger or otherwise, Naruto was unsure.

Either way, it was the wrong thing to say if his ending up a few yards away from the two other ninja said anything. Struggling to his feet as quickly as possible, not wanting to leave his back to the person who'd tried to kill him twice, Kakashi finally showed up - late as usual.

"Getting a head start on training, I see?" His playful attitude came off as more mocking to Naruto than anything. He sent a withering look the Jounin's way, which was not seen due to Kakashi watching Sasuke.

Sasuke sent him a disgusted look. Naruto rolled his eyes as he brushed the dirt from his black pants. It would be impossible to get them completely clean. He had changed his style a few years ago. As his love for the color orange and the loud attention it brought him faded, he changed his style to one more ninja-like. Mostly black, with dark earthen-colored mesh and weapons holsters.

The only people to comment on his change of wardrobe who really seemed interested were his younger friends; Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon, and his childhood teacher, Iruka.

Naruto found his anger flare as he glanced at Kakashi. Iruka had been sent on a mission with Kakashi and Kotetsu, what should have been a simple escort mission. It should have been a simple mission among the three of them, yet something went wrong. The most Naruto could glean from the Hokage and Iruka was that it had something to do with Kakashi. Upon their return, Iruka was found to be seriously injured.

"Sorry I'm late. I got lost on the path of life."

"Still a late, excuse-wielding, lazy-ass teacher..."

Kakashi either did not hear him or chose to ignore him as the Jounin's gaze settled on an oblivious Sasuke. Naruto grit his teeth, closing his eyes as he tried to calm himself. It would do no one any good if his anger hit the boiling point. He could sense the Kyuubi beginning to stir inside him... It would be a massacre if he allowed him to the surface. He was over-protective of his host, especially so when his emotions began to waver.

It seemed Kakashi had gotten into one of his spiels about teamwork as he explained the exercise they would be participating in today. The only thing Naruto caught was that it was a trust exercise.

"I know this team has been through some rough times, but those are past. We're to the point where we can recover what was lost, and regain the kinship that was once shared - Naruto, what's wrong?" Kakashi finally deemed to notice Naruto, his visible eye widening in confusion. Naruto had been snickering under his breath.

He lifted his blue eyes, glaring at the Jounin. "How can we work on teamwork when there is no team to begin with?"

The three ninja looked at him as if he had just told them Tsunade was a man. The disbelief in their faces was enough to garner another chuckle from the blonde.

"Of course we're a team, Naruto!" Sakura scowled, shaking her head furiously. Naruto rolled his eyes, crossing his arms.

"If you honestly believe that, Sakura, then you're either extremely naive... Or extremely stupid."

Sakura howled in anger as she made to punch him again. The jinchuuriki simply sighed, ducking under her furious attack. He grabbed her forearm, twisting her around to where she ultimately ended up sitting on the ground, a confused look in her eyes.

"I think the latter is more appropriate a term for you, thinking a head-on attack like that would work on me." Naruto shook his head. He stared at her apathetically before turning his gaze to the two other ninja watching him warily.

"You three are idiots. I spent five years chasing after the ever illusive heir to the Uchiha clan, intent on re-kindling a bond I believed could weather all things. Sasuke was still my friend, I told myself, he's still my brother. He's simply deluded by the old Snake Sannin's promise of being able to exact his revenge."

Naruto shook his head, eyeing Sakura warily as she got to her feet, dusting her skirt off. She was glaring at him, but kept her mouth shut. For once in her life, she was actually listening to Naruto.

"All the times we clashed in mortal combat, all the times I was regarded as an idiot chasing a fool's dream, after being punished for being weak... Something clicked, or perhaps snapped would be the more fitting word. Not that any of you care, wrapped up in your own personal cares and worries, as if you were the center of the universe."

Naruto now began to glare at his former teammates, an ice-cold fire the likes anyone had ever seen in his usually care-free eyes causing them to tense.

"Aren't you assuming the same thing with this monlogue, idiot?" Sasuke snapped, a growl rising in his chest even as he felt his resolve waver. Had his search for power really changed his care-free companion so much?

"Not at all. Unlike the three of you, I have no personal cares or worries, aside from seeing the dawn of the next day in my life. Even though I brought back everyone's precious Uchiha, I still have assassination attempts on my life daily. The endless fangirl worries that Sakura hosts, the ever-present aura of being the strong and silent loner I feel around Sasuke, the laid-back, carefree complacency of Kakashi... None can even hope to surmount what I put up with."

Naruto scowled, noticing his words were hitting home on some emotional level. The effect wasn't as strong as he'd hoped. They weren't attacking him yet. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "The three of you aren't even worth my words. You'll never understand what I go through, and I don't expect it."

The blonde turned on his heel, deciding he was going to head back to his dingy apartment Tsunade and Iruka were now splitting the cost of. If not for them, he would've been homeless, or begging to live with Iruka or one of his younger friends.

A hand on his shoulder drew him to a stand-still. "I don't know what the hell you're going on about, dumbass, but if you think I'm going to let you get away with spouting out lies-"

"They are not lies!" Naruto snapped, twisting out of Sasuke's grip and grabbing the Uchiha's collar. He pulled his former friend to where they were inches away from the other, ice-blue eyes glaring into midnight depths.

Sasuke scowled in reply. "What you've said about us is untrue. They aren't the only things we care about-"

"You could have fooled me." Naruto scoffed, releasing the Uchiha's collar. Sasuke glared.

"Where're you going, Naruto? We still have a training regimen we're expected to follow. Tsunade will be upset if we don't attempt to co-operate with each other."

Naruto shook his head. "You can tell Granny Tsunade I refuse to work with idiots who can't see the trees for the forest."

Sakura snorted. "That makes no sense."

"You don't say."

As Naruto turned to walk away, Sasuke caught his shoulder a second time. This time, Naruto was fed up with being deterred. He turned, his preternatural speed and strength giving him the advantage over the proud Uchiha. Being a jinchuuriki had its advantages, and Naruto was sure seeing the look of fear on Sasuke's face was one of them. He couldn't help the grin playing along his lips as he pinned Sasuke to a tree, Sakura and Kakashi voicing their surprise.

"Now who's the weak one, dumbass? I could kill you right now, if I felt the need to."

Sasuke was regaining his composure. "You won't."

"What makes you believe that? I am a jinchuuriki, believed by the whole of the village to be a demon in human form, just waiting for the right moment to massacre every single human being that lives here. I have the power to do that, you know."

Sasuke frowned. "Yet you also have the control and love not to harm innocencts."

Naruto and Sasuke stared at each other for a few moments, before Naruto backed away in disgust, shaking his head. "Don't follow me. You won't find me."

With that, Naruto disappeared in a puff of smoke, appearing a little ways away in a copse of trees. From there, he jumped onto a large branch and made his trek back to his apartment. He would need some supplies before he left Konoha. He would be unable to survive otherwise.


End file.
